i may or may not be watching the land before time
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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