i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
