Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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