I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
