You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
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