Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
