Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
