Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
