Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
