i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
