Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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