I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Panties = found
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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