you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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