you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Randomize
