all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Randomize
