Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
