It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
50% drunk capacity currently
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
