Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
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