So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
