I just cut my nipple shaving
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
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