Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
