just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
