are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Randomize
