If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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