so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
