how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
