It's just like the Real World with babies
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
