Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
even my farts smell like vagina
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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