Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Randomize
