Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
