garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
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