A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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