Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
