My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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