So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
