she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
