I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Randomize
