I wanna bring you to show and tell
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
