Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
