Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
