u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
