Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
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