we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
