If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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