five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
