Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
We need to get me chipped asap
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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