i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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