I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
My pussy is not your playground.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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