I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
