i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
her facebook's as public as her vagina
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
